Every time I meet a guy I find myself attracted to, he is never interested in me. It is confusing and strange in that we’ll usually go out, they will pick up the dinner tab, drive, all the ingredients to a “date” then by the end of the “date” I get the old Platonic Friends Kiss of Death (hereinafter referred to as the PFKOD) but without an actual kiss. Somewhere in the course of our being together they decide they are not interested and give me the line that they don’t want to date right now because of Fill In The Blank. They just want to be friends. Then the next thing I know they are hitting on my friends and/or dating someone else. Oh, so it wasn’t that they aren’t interested in dating because of some tragic circumstance in their life, they just aren’t interested in dating me.
The line about just wanting to be friends is also a crock. My friends contact me out of the blue to see how I’m doing, they invite me to go places and see things with them, they come over, they invite me over, they lend me money, I lend them money, provide moral support in times of tragedy, and you know, act like friends. These guys, if I don’t contact them somehow, I will never, ever hear from them again after the PFKOD. So why do they even bother to offer friendship? These guys aren’t friends. They certainly don’t act like it. I know why they lie like that, because they don’t want to hurt our feelings, but let me tell you something, gentle readers, it hurts more to be strung along. So, my new rule (actually it was put into effect last year but failed recently), is that I require reciprocity, especially from men. If I find myself always doing the work, i.e. contacting them and they never contact me first, they are off my mailing list.
It’s that simple. It’s totally apparent that they have no interest in me in any way. It is baffling though. Especially in this age of the Information Superhighway, I can’t even find the on-ramp. I have experienced the weirdest behavior and I think it is condoned because of the anonymous nature of the Internet. I have had situations where a guy has responded to my online profile (back when I was even trying), we e-mail back and forth all day long as if we’re having a conversation (I worked in front of a computer all day, and I have a smart phone so I am always on e-mail) and close the conversation by saying talk to you tomorrow. Then I never, ever hear from them again. Ever. WTF is that? Is the rule that guys are mostly Flaksters? I will give them a chance the next day and lop an e-mail saying hello. Then, if I don’t hear back, and I almost never do, off the list they go and into the idumpster.
If they were called away to go fight evil in Afghanistan, or some other lamo excuse, the very least they could do would be to let me know. But they don’t. They just evaporate. Great disappearing act, Mr Magician! We know what that means, loud and clear. So, what I am trying to say and affirm is that I will not waste my precious time on anyone who doesn’t care about me.
You also know when you’re in Just Friends city when the guy refers to you as “Buddy” or “Kiddo”. Happy Birthday, Buddy! Hey there, Kiddo! Yeeaaach! Or if they “dude” you. That means they look at you as if you are another man.
I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?
Your Friendo Platonico,The ScubaJedi